When I Grow Up...

When I was a little girl and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I told them I wanted to be a mama.  No joke, I wanted to be a stay at home mom when I was little.  But I'm not little anymore.

Exactly one month from today I turn 18 years old.  I don't even know how to handle that.  I know 18 is far from grown up, I still feel like a baby, but it is legally an adult.  Crazy!  So now that I only have a month left until I'm "grown up"...what do I want to do?

Everyone kind of assumes that I'll be going into the dance field.  Welp, they're wrong.  I did want to dance forever when I was younger, but not anymore.  People just don't know me like they think they do.

Well I certainly won't be a stay at home mom anytime soon.  Obviously.  Maybe someday, but as of now I have different aspirations.  As for college I'm still kind of unsure.  Definitely something medical.  Possibly physical therapy or nursing.  Hopefully through ROTC.  Probably in Pittsburg.  Although there is a lot of uncertainty still left in those choices.  Eeek.  Then from there, who knows.  But that's just one aspect of my life.

Do I ever want to get married?  Probably.  I mean, I have nothing against marriage.  If I find the right guy and he wants to get married, I'll probably let it happen.  But do I want a wedding?  As of right now, almost-18-and-tragically-single Mary Kate says no way.  That's not me being bitter, it's just me being realistic.  All of the decisions and planning and perfecting and organizing and inviting would really just stress the shit out of me.  I wouldn't enjoy that at all.  Not to mention the expense.  It's a waste.  I told my mom I was getting hitched in Vegas. 

Do I ever want to have kids?  Yes.  No.  I don't know.  I love children, I really do.  And the idea of having my own to love and cherish until they grow into their own person, that sounds super rewarding.  But it's also a giant project that's permanent and lasts for years.  Scary.  I mean, I really do believe that I'll be a good mom someday, but I don't know if I can tackle a project like that...I can barely focus on one set of calculus problems!

So basically I have no idea what the hell is happening in my life.  And with only one month left of my childhood I really hope I figure things out.  Like, soon!