Monday, April 1, 2013

I'm Having Trouble

I actually have a handful of dance things that I'm planning on writing about soon, but this needs to be said first.  Here's my problem; this blog is about dance.  I had to take a little hiatus on the dance posts to let my feet heal, but I though I'd be back and better than ever in no time.   But guess what's up...Doc says my feet are never going to heal.

Rewind.  The bone stimulators only partially did their job.  They were for short term pain management and long term healing.  They did the healing part by forming some kind of protective layer around the bone as a whole, however the fractures on the inside never got their act together enough to heal.  So what I'm working with now is bones that are cracked in half, yet have a covering on them, and the covering will prevent the inside broken-ness from healing.  Damnit.

So, Doc says I'm never allowed to dance again.  I'm allowed to run and play and frolic in the meadows all I want, but no dancing.  I've been really upset about it and I've actually decided to go against her advise and dance anyway.  My problem right now is that where I train is kind of expensive, so I need my ma and daddy on my side to help with the financials.  I'm working on it.

I'll keep ya updated on how it goes, but at this point "Defined by the Dance" isn't super accurate.  I feel like I'm kind of defined by the gimp.  It sucks.  I never thought it would go this way.  At all.  I was positive I was going to heal and head back to ballet as good as new after a month is casts.  It's been eight months since I found out my feet were broken.  EIGHT.  MONTHS.