Sunday, February 10, 2013

School Dances

I'm really doing everything I can to keep this blog going in the "defined by the dance" direction and not just become a repetitive posts reminding the internet of my persistent broken-ness.  So I figured I could talk about school dances - they're dance-y and everyone can relate to them and I think my stance on the matter may surprise you.

I hate them.

Woahh.  Let's take a step back.  Weird that I would hate them, right?  Okay, well maybe hate is kind of a strong word, but I do seriously dislike the hype that surrounds them.  I guess the actual act of being at a school dance ain't too bad, but still...

Here are the unspoken rules of high school dances that are just absolutely pointless:

1.  Get a dress, but be sure that there will be no one else in attendance with the same dress.  If there is someone else in attendance with the same dress, make sure you notice and point it out to everybody and complain.  A lot.
2.  The dress that you get must be more expensive than a piece of fabric should ever be.  And you must advertise the amount you paid and try to justify your stupidity.
3.  To accompany the dress you need hooker heels.  High and black goes with anything.
4. Even if it is cold, you will not wear a jacket.  But you must complain about the temperature while you wait to be let in.
5.  Upon arrival at the dance you must immediately ditch the heels and spend the rest of the night barefoot.  You will carry your shoes when you leave as well, and reach your next destination still barefoot.
6. When dancing, the closer to the speakers the better.  Also, if you can wedge yourself into a position where the people around you are so close that you can only awkwardly sway and grind, do it.
7.  There are only two acceptable fast dancing positions.  Either facing away from him and grinding your ass into his dick area, or facing in towards him and grinding your vag into his dick area.
8.  The slow dance will always and forever be executed as it was in middle school.  Why stray from the classics.
9. If you happen to go stag, you are destined to be awkwardly swaying alone all night, and usually next to all your couple friends so it's very clear that you're single.
10.  One of your friends (or you) will inevitably have cried at some point throughout the evening.

Waddaya think of that?  Now, there are a few of those rules that I actually support.  I can pretty much be counted on to be one of the people in the #3, #5, #6, #7 and #10 category (although I have never been the one that cried, because I don't take school dances seriously enough to get upset...which is the way it should be).

Obviously, the rest of the rules I strongly dispute:
#1:  Who the hell cares who's wearing what dress.  You won't even remember in a week or two.
#2:  Absolutely not.  The most I've ever paid for a homecoming/valentines dance kind of dress was $25.  The most I've ever paid for a prom dress was $100 (pictures to follow).
#4:  I hate complainers.  I don't wear a jacket because I'm an idiot, but I don't complain because I'm not annoying.
#8:  Are you 11?  No?  Then there is no excuse for this.  Let's have a little more creativity people.
#9:  I hate this one, but there's not a whole lot you can do about it.  I've been there, I get it.  However, a good plan is to find a friend who's date ditched him, and the two of you can become new dates.

Seriously, school dances are supposed to be fun.  All the fuss just leads to getting upset.  So now about my personal experiences:

Homecoming freshman year-
I went with a group of girls, my dress cost $25 (clearance at Macys) and we had a good time.  Done.

Homecoming sophomore year-
I borrowed a dress.  Went with a giant group of my upper-classmen friends - some single, some not - and laughed a lot.  We ate in and screwed around all night.
There wasn't a single serious picture (I'm second in from the left)
Prom sophomore year-
I went with pretty much the same group of upper-classmen friends. I got a $30 dress on ebay.  We all pitched in $10 and had an awesome dinner at the same friend's house that we ate at for homecoming.  Super low key, super fun.  I was single but when my friend ditched her date we formed our own little couple for the night.  It was great.
The guy I ended up with
Not the group I went with, but still friends



Homecoming junior year-
$20 dollar dress.  Once again single but that was due to being a horrible person and un-inviting my date the day of (whooopsie) so I went with a group of friends my age.  Once again, some single, some not.

The crew




Prom junior year-
I went with my best friend, we got the director of our play to make us and another couple dinner.  I got a $100 vintage dress on ebay.  We didn't get each other flowers because I said he shouldn't spend money on something that I was going to leave on a table to die. 
Dinner!
Testing out my dress
Again, we weren't taking things too seriously
We just took pictures right in front of the house, but I think it turned out gorgeous
Both couples
 
We found this sign down the street, ha


Homecoming senior year-
Got a $15 dress from Forever 21 and myself plus two other single ladies had a blast.  Easy peasy.

I don't have a picture with my friends, but here's one of my younger brother, Daniel, and me
Weirdly enough, all three siblings were wearing red that night, this is my brother Liam with his date


 So there, that's a whole bunch of school dances made cheap and fun just by not being an asshole about it.  There are also a lot of school dances I don't go to, but that's because I have to work.

Anyhow, the inspiration behind this post is due to the fact that I'm going to a Valentines dance next weekend.  I didn't go to the one my school held, but I'm going to one with my friend at his school.  He told me it's a casual glow dance, and I think that's perfect.  No expensive dresses, no stupid heels, just friends, fun and black-lights.  I'm wearing jeans, my zappers and sneakers, and a plain white v-neck.  Beat that.